Two more weeks until I return from maternity leave....the positive? I at least have a job to get back to, scratch that...I have my career to get back to!!
I am a cosmetology educator and I love what I do! I have a passion for my career in cosmetology! I didn't know that's what I wanted to do when I got out of high school...I actually had gone to college for business management. I thought I would be better in a business/retail oriented position but when it came down to it, I needed something more hands on and creative.
I went to cosmetology school in 2011 part time and graduated June, 2013. Since then, I've worked at two salons; Park Layne Stylists and Salon J Ladner. Both a completely different experience but both positive! At Park Layne, I learned to work with more experienced stylists, working with clientele that is more conservative. Roller sets, perms, haircuts. At Salon J Ladner, I learned to be more creative, more edgy with the styles I was working with and the clientele was younger. I learned so much from these salons in such short time but my true passion was to be an educator and help spread my knowledge.
When I first started, I was scared. I was nervous that I wasn't experienced enough to be able to teach people this industry but I realized it is not about how long you've done it, it's about how creative you can be to spread the knowledge as everyone learns differently. Some learn by verbal communication, some learn by visual demos, some learn by reading...it's all about how you present it and how it is taken in that sets you apart from the rest. I will admit, I still am learning different processes on how to present my lectures that will appeal to everyone but unless the students have a passion for the work too, I can't fully engage them.
My biggest struggle in this position is gaining respect from some of the students. I am a little older, same age or even younger than some of the students so that makes it hard for them to look at me as a teacher, professional or their boss. It's important to get to know how each person ticks....if your personalities clash, you will not succeed in getting their attention. They will feel as if you are 'picking on them'. Making them follow the rules is difficult but there is a fine line between becoming friends and gaining respect. I am still learning that part of the job but I have faith that I will find that happy medium.
My favorite part of my position is seeing a student 'get it'. When the light goes off and they understand how to complete their masterpiece because with cosmetology, that's what we do....art. We have visions of what and how something will look before it is completed and when the student knows how to get there, it makes me feel complete as an educator. Whether it is an advanced color such as an ombre, balayage, or even a men's haircut. The challenges in this industry are few and far between but they are there, every day! I love seeing my students overcome them.
Even though I would love nothing more than to be home with my baby every day, I am happy that I get to go back. It definitely isn't work if you love what you do!
So you ask, What does being an educator mean to me?
A cosmetologist can change someone's day or even life just by spending a little amount of time
with them. It's about growing a relationship between the student and teacher or client and stylist by listening and catering to their needs, being sincere and
truly caring. It's about being able to use art and talent to help achieve a
look that gives someone not only outer beauty, but confidence to help
them achieve goals while you achieve yours. Being an educator means
truly loving people by giving them positivity for today and a ray of
hope for tomorrow! Being a hairstylist and an educator is MY passion, my career...not
just a J.O.B. (Just over broke). I thrive for success and I am determined to help people look
and feel beautiful inside and out and help aspired students give you that sense of beauty because loving yourself is the most important aspect of life!
Friday, April 24, 2015
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Keeping the Faith
Things are great! God is good! The baby is growing, healthy, and he makes my world complete...
Gavin is a month old now, he still looks like his daddy and is starting to focus on people and things. He is everything I always wanted in a baby, pure perfection. We, as parents do everything in our power to protect and care for our babies whether it's a fur baby or a tiny human baby....We wake up and go to work knowing we have to so we can pay bills, keep the house over our head, have a car to get from point A to point B...I am a cosmetology educator and since I am only working part time, my paychecks don't do much to help with the bills but it's something. I've been off since March 13th and I'm a couple weeks away from going back to work but of course, I don't want to go....I want to spend every waking moment with my baby and watch him as he progresses in life. Who wants to spend their lives at work and miss out on their children's milestones? Although everyone needs a LITTLE separation from their kid(s), husband, house work, etc. or they will go nuts! It will be hard for me to go back though.
My husband and I are the couple who we thought did it right. We both went to college, got married, then tried for a baby, the way that we should have. We had our issues with getting pregnant but God saw us through. HE put in front of us what we could handle after so much struggle and turmoil, knowing it was OUR time to be parents. Being a parent comes with great responsibility. I have a couple friends with the same struggle and I know it will be in their cards soon, they just have to keep the faith!
My husband, and I'm sure most husbands at that, want to be great providers. They wake up and go to work knowing they have to provide for their families and sometimes it gives them a sense of pride to be able to support others, knowing it is up to them to make ends meet. I look at my husband and I know that after almost 6 years of marriage that he has been an amazing provider, trying to make sure I have everything I want. Now that Gavin is here, he only wants to work harder to be able to give him everything he wants, especially when they take their trips down the action figure isle as he gets older or trips to the comic store!
The moment our world came crashing down was the moment my husband lost his job a little over a week ago, for something that wasn't even his fault. So here we are, I'm still on maternity leave without pay, my husband jobless and three mouths to feed, bills to still be paid already on the edge of broke yet, life still goes on. What do you do at this point? The breaking point where a mom feels helpless, a dad feels like a failure.... We can get down on ourselves, beat ourselves up thinking we could never pick up the missing pieces but what is the point? Money cannot buy happiness but it does keep the roof over our head, the food in our mouth, the gas in our cars.
Filing for unemployment and searching for a job is a full time job in itself, as well as being a husband/wife and a father/mother making sure the relationship stays healthy, the house stays clean and everyone stays happy. I did what I though was best for our family, I went to job and family services. Asking for assistance through the government is probably the most embarrassing thing I have done but at the same time that's what it's there for, right? Needing food stamps and medical assistance isn't something I thought our family would ever have to endure but it is something we are fortunate to be able to request. Being a mother who breastfeeds, it's not just about me, I need more nutrition now more than I ever did before so keeping food in the house is important.
Our parents have helped in many ways also but it really hurts a man's ego that his mother is bringing meals and toiletries to help his family survive or his wives parents are giving cash so they don't get behind on bills. I know that my husband is and always will be a great provider, he is out interviewing for multiple jobs as I type this....He will not want to live off the government and watch me go back to a part time position while he sits at home, he will hit the pavement daily, email resumes to everyone he knows and God will reward him.
I recently accepted Jesus as my lord and savior and opened myself up to know that there is a God and I know now that HE is on our side. HE will not give us more than we can handle and as long as we keep the faith it will continue to be that way. I pray every day that something great comes along for my husband, something better for our family and that we all stay above water! It's only been a little while that all this started but I know we will bounce back quickly!
Gavin is a month old now, he still looks like his daddy and is starting to focus on people and things. He is everything I always wanted in a baby, pure perfection. We, as parents do everything in our power to protect and care for our babies whether it's a fur baby or a tiny human baby....We wake up and go to work knowing we have to so we can pay bills, keep the house over our head, have a car to get from point A to point B...I am a cosmetology educator and since I am only working part time, my paychecks don't do much to help with the bills but it's something. I've been off since March 13th and I'm a couple weeks away from going back to work but of course, I don't want to go....I want to spend every waking moment with my baby and watch him as he progresses in life. Who wants to spend their lives at work and miss out on their children's milestones? Although everyone needs a LITTLE separation from their kid(s), husband, house work, etc. or they will go nuts! It will be hard for me to go back though.
My husband and I are the couple who we thought did it right. We both went to college, got married, then tried for a baby, the way that we should have. We had our issues with getting pregnant but God saw us through. HE put in front of us what we could handle after so much struggle and turmoil, knowing it was OUR time to be parents. Being a parent comes with great responsibility. I have a couple friends with the same struggle and I know it will be in their cards soon, they just have to keep the faith!
My husband, and I'm sure most husbands at that, want to be great providers. They wake up and go to work knowing they have to provide for their families and sometimes it gives them a sense of pride to be able to support others, knowing it is up to them to make ends meet. I look at my husband and I know that after almost 6 years of marriage that he has been an amazing provider, trying to make sure I have everything I want. Now that Gavin is here, he only wants to work harder to be able to give him everything he wants, especially when they take their trips down the action figure isle as he gets older or trips to the comic store!
The moment our world came crashing down was the moment my husband lost his job a little over a week ago, for something that wasn't even his fault. So here we are, I'm still on maternity leave without pay, my husband jobless and three mouths to feed, bills to still be paid already on the edge of broke yet, life still goes on. What do you do at this point? The breaking point where a mom feels helpless, a dad feels like a failure.... We can get down on ourselves, beat ourselves up thinking we could never pick up the missing pieces but what is the point? Money cannot buy happiness but it does keep the roof over our head, the food in our mouth, the gas in our cars.
Filing for unemployment and searching for a job is a full time job in itself, as well as being a husband/wife and a father/mother making sure the relationship stays healthy, the house stays clean and everyone stays happy. I did what I though was best for our family, I went to job and family services. Asking for assistance through the government is probably the most embarrassing thing I have done but at the same time that's what it's there for, right? Needing food stamps and medical assistance isn't something I thought our family would ever have to endure but it is something we are fortunate to be able to request. Being a mother who breastfeeds, it's not just about me, I need more nutrition now more than I ever did before so keeping food in the house is important.
Our parents have helped in many ways also but it really hurts a man's ego that his mother is bringing meals and toiletries to help his family survive or his wives parents are giving cash so they don't get behind on bills. I know that my husband is and always will be a great provider, he is out interviewing for multiple jobs as I type this....He will not want to live off the government and watch me go back to a part time position while he sits at home, he will hit the pavement daily, email resumes to everyone he knows and God will reward him.
I recently accepted Jesus as my lord and savior and opened myself up to know that there is a God and I know now that HE is on our side. HE will not give us more than we can handle and as long as we keep the faith it will continue to be that way. I pray every day that something great comes along for my husband, something better for our family and that we all stay above water! It's only been a little while that all this started but I know we will bounce back quickly!
Saturday, April 18, 2015
The Birth of Gavin Wayne
I was nervous, yet excited at the thought of becoming a mom but I was also scared shitless! I liked kids, other people's kids but wasn't sure I knew how to take care of one...when you hold someone else's kid and they cry, you don't know how to tend to their needs right away...so thankfully you can hand them back. That isn't the case with your own child.....our lives were changing forever!!
March 17th, 2015- I woke up, the feeling going through me was so intense. The thought that I was hours away from giving birth made me nauseous. My husband was almost worse than me...he's a very sentimental and emotional guy which are a couple reasons I fell in love with him. He was great during my pregnancy, tending to my every need and when I told him I needed a soft serve ice cream sundae, or sour patch watermelon, he was on it within minutes. I couldn't have asked for a better husband, life partner, father to my children! We both were so anxious but knew we had to eat and go on about our day since we couldn't go to the hospital to be induced until 7pm that night. We went to one of our favorite local food/ice cream stands called Arrow Queen and got some loaded nachos (It was still one of the food items I could eat since I was gestational diabetic while pregnant). We both tried to take a nap, pass the time....it wasn't happening. I suggested we go to the mall by the hospital to kill some time and try to walk some to help get this baby to come out.
At 5:30pm, we decided to head towards the Dayton Mall. We pulled in and started walking and I had what I thought was regular contractions....stomach felt tight, like a vice was squeezing my insides and pressure in my lower abdomen. Walking through the mall, I had probably 2 or 3 of these but I didn't time them as they weren't close to two minutes apart. We walked up and down almost the whole mall and I had to eat one last time because I knew I would be on a liquid diet once I got into the hospital. I requested Auntie Anne's Pretzels as my last meal before we head in....it was like heaven!!
So, here we are, pulling into Southview Maternity Hospital and parking not knowing that utter chaos was in front of us. We walked up to the check in desk and they asked what we were coming in for. Our response, "We are here to have a baby and get induced". They asked us a bunch of questions about insurance, if I had a living will, if we had a birth plan which at the time, our doctor advised against one because more than half the time, they do not turn out as planned. We were then taken to our birthing room, Suite 1....the same suite that my first nephew, Caleb was born in a little over 12 years ago. The room was HUGE, thankfully as we had anticipated quite a bit of visitors. The nurse had me empty my bladder and change into the gown. Then came the IV and she started explaining to us the process of how the night was going to go for the induction.
First, she explained that they would be checking my cervix, to see how far dilated I was and if I was effaced any more than my last appointment which was 1 1/2 and 50%. She proceeded to explain that the doctor on call starts induction with a prostaglandin gel which will ripen the cervix and help push along induction. One will be given at 8pm then another at midnight. They would then check me again to see my progression. After that, they would start the pitocin. Everything went as planned, 8pm I was dilated still at 1 1/2cm. At midnight I was dilated to 3cm. At this time, I had my husband, mother, step dad, and friend, Katie in the room and we were all tired and slap happy. I had tried to start taking a nap but my contractions were starting to get more intense and closer together, about 3-4 minutes apart. Still nowhere close to full on labor though.
At 4am, the nurse came in to check my dilation and I was still between 3-4cm and they started the pitocin, increasing it every 30 minutes. At 5:15, my water broke. That is the point when my contractions really started to increase and I was about 2 1/2-3 minutes apart and around 6:30-7pm, I expressed that I was in enough pain to request the epidural. They filled me with more fluids for about 30 minutes and sent in the anesthesiologist. At this time, my mother in law and father in law were there and they kicked everyone out of the room. They told me I had to relax (haha, I was about to get a large needle stuck in my back and I'm supposed to relax?). I had to hunch over the edge of the bed with my legs dangling off the side, nobody there to hold my hand and comfort me but the nurse that I had only known for 2 hours since the shift change....palms sweating, contractions continuing, they told me they were ready to inject the needle after they numbed me and told me I would feel a small pinch. I had to tell them to wait for the contraction to stop and then they began. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but boy was I shaking. It had almost started working immediately, the right side becoming more numb than the left but gradually becoming even.
The epidural was amazing! I couldn't feel a thing. If there was a hospital fire and I had to get up to save myself, I wouldn't have made it. Still having not eaten or slept, I was able to relax and possibly take a nap but there was just too much going on and the excitement kept me awake, let alone the nurses continued to come in every 30 minutes to increase the pitocin and the blood pressure monitor going off every 30 minutes also. The nurses then started coming in to move me, side to side, on my back, then the other side again. I asked if I could have some apple juice as I hadn't eaten and my blood sugar was a low 74. They told us they had some concerns, that the baby's heart rate was decreasing after the contraction when it is supposed to decrease when the contraction was happening. Their concern was that the cord was wrapped around his neck so they paged the doctor who was working in a c-section surgery. Our parents had stepped out for a few moments to let us rest but when they found out the news, they were told to come back in and they had given me the oxygen mask to give oxygen to the baby which scared everyone. Their daughter, wife, friend shouldn't need oxygen while going into labor so they all got very concerned and hovered. I was going to stay calm, no need to get worked up and everything was in God's hands.
My husband and I had discussed what we would do if we had to get a cesarean once before but it was very brief and to the point because we were told not to have a birth plan. We agreed that if it came to the fact that it would save me or the baby, we would do it. The doctor came in around 1:30pm, checked my cervix, I was dilated to about 7 1/2cm and 90% effaced and then advised me that she was concerned with what they were seeing on the monitor. She said we had two options, one of which would be to take me off the pitocin and try to naturally contract him but that could be another 8-10 hours or her suggestion, to have the c-section. I asked her what the risks were and she explained that the risks were greater trying naturally because we don't know what was going on while his heart rate decelerated, so we agreed to the surgery.
Within 5 minutes of agreeing to a cesarean surgery, the anesthesiologist was back in the room, the nurses were prepping my husband with a white cover up, hat, booties and gave me the blue hat. I had to take a shot of a fluid antacid that tasted like a grape sour warhead. About 10 minutes later they were wheeling me to my surgery room. My husband freaking out, was asked where his phone was, he thought he couldn't bring it into the sterile room, the nurse told him to go get it as he was about to have a baby!!! I still had my composure but deep down I was scared for my babies life as well as mine but I knew I had the mercy of my doctor and God so it would all be okay!!
The doctor's had me cut open on the table when they brought my husband in. He said he saw 6 doctors, hovering over me and the nurse could tell he was about to pass out so she told him to look over to the right and follow the line on the floor to his chair next to me, behind the curtain. I was so happy to see him....this was the point where I was scared and needed him. I could feel the doctors pulling and tugging at my insides, the pressure of them moving my baby around inside of me. THE MOST AWKWARD FEELING IN THE WORLD! We were sitting for probably 2 minutes, then we hear the doctor say she saw the baby's head, and 30 seconds later we heard him...the gasping air of my baby boy and the first cry. My husband and I looked at each other in the eyes and started crying. Even though we didn't see him the second he came out, we knew he was beautiful, no matter what! He was then taken for his assessment tests.
The nurses took our baby over to the scale, 7lbs 1oz, then measured him, 20 inches long. They asked my husband to cut the cord but he has a weak stomach and refused. He will do it for future children since he now knows what to expect! Gavin was then checked for the APGAR test which checks the baby's heart rate, breathing, muscle tone, reflex response, and color. 10 being perfect (no baby is ever scored perfect), Gavin was mostly 9's and a couple 8's on the ratings. We had delivered a perfect baby boy at 2:07pm!
An hour after surgery, I was sent to recovery where I could hold my baby for the first time! I was in complete bliss, filled with the most love I've ever had for anyone in my life. Extremely exhausted, I reached out for Gavin and ready to do what mothers do best, nurture and protect! The lactation consultant was there in the recovery room with me to help me get him to latch on for breastfeeding. All I wanted to do was cuddle and take it all in but he needed me, he needed me to feed him. Finally after about an hour, he had latched on enough to eat for his cherry size belly and we were being moved to the newborn room where we would be the next two and a half days.
Nurse after nurse, shift after shift, they were all so great with helping us get settled in and feeling comfortable. Gavin slept majority of the time but wanted to eat every two hours. I would admire him for hours, when we didn't have visitors. He must have had over 20 people come to see him while we were there. He is one loved boy already and exactly a month after he's been born, he is still having people come to see him and bring him goodies!
I love him with every inch of my body and cannot wait to see him grow, but hopefully not too fast! I stare at his pretty deep blue eyes that he got from daddy, the tiny button nose and heart shaped lips he got from me. The LONG golden blonde hair and his long, luscious lashes always astonishes me. His perfect 10 fingers and 10 toes, and the fuzz hair on his shoulders and ears that one day, will turn to a young man's innocence. I know every inch of my son's anatomy and it continues to change so as a mother who struggled to get here, I will cherish and admire every single moment I have with him!
Here he is, one month old....
So, here we are, pulling into Southview Maternity Hospital and parking not knowing that utter chaos was in front of us. We walked up to the check in desk and they asked what we were coming in for. Our response, "We are here to have a baby and get induced". They asked us a bunch of questions about insurance, if I had a living will, if we had a birth plan which at the time, our doctor advised against one because more than half the time, they do not turn out as planned. We were then taken to our birthing room, Suite 1....the same suite that my first nephew, Caleb was born in a little over 12 years ago. The room was HUGE, thankfully as we had anticipated quite a bit of visitors. The nurse had me empty my bladder and change into the gown. Then came the IV and she started explaining to us the process of how the night was going to go for the induction.
First, she explained that they would be checking my cervix, to see how far dilated I was and if I was effaced any more than my last appointment which was 1 1/2 and 50%. She proceeded to explain that the doctor on call starts induction with a prostaglandin gel which will ripen the cervix and help push along induction. One will be given at 8pm then another at midnight. They would then check me again to see my progression. After that, they would start the pitocin. Everything went as planned, 8pm I was dilated still at 1 1/2cm. At midnight I was dilated to 3cm. At this time, I had my husband, mother, step dad, and friend, Katie in the room and we were all tired and slap happy. I had tried to start taking a nap but my contractions were starting to get more intense and closer together, about 3-4 minutes apart. Still nowhere close to full on labor though.
At 4am, the nurse came in to check my dilation and I was still between 3-4cm and they started the pitocin, increasing it every 30 minutes. At 5:15, my water broke. That is the point when my contractions really started to increase and I was about 2 1/2-3 minutes apart and around 6:30-7pm, I expressed that I was in enough pain to request the epidural. They filled me with more fluids for about 30 minutes and sent in the anesthesiologist. At this time, my mother in law and father in law were there and they kicked everyone out of the room. They told me I had to relax (haha, I was about to get a large needle stuck in my back and I'm supposed to relax?). I had to hunch over the edge of the bed with my legs dangling off the side, nobody there to hold my hand and comfort me but the nurse that I had only known for 2 hours since the shift change....palms sweating, contractions continuing, they told me they were ready to inject the needle after they numbed me and told me I would feel a small pinch. I had to tell them to wait for the contraction to stop and then they began. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but boy was I shaking. It had almost started working immediately, the right side becoming more numb than the left but gradually becoming even.
The epidural was amazing! I couldn't feel a thing. If there was a hospital fire and I had to get up to save myself, I wouldn't have made it. Still having not eaten or slept, I was able to relax and possibly take a nap but there was just too much going on and the excitement kept me awake, let alone the nurses continued to come in every 30 minutes to increase the pitocin and the blood pressure monitor going off every 30 minutes also. The nurses then started coming in to move me, side to side, on my back, then the other side again. I asked if I could have some apple juice as I hadn't eaten and my blood sugar was a low 74. They told us they had some concerns, that the baby's heart rate was decreasing after the contraction when it is supposed to decrease when the contraction was happening. Their concern was that the cord was wrapped around his neck so they paged the doctor who was working in a c-section surgery. Our parents had stepped out for a few moments to let us rest but when they found out the news, they were told to come back in and they had given me the oxygen mask to give oxygen to the baby which scared everyone. Their daughter, wife, friend shouldn't need oxygen while going into labor so they all got very concerned and hovered. I was going to stay calm, no need to get worked up and everything was in God's hands.
My husband and I had discussed what we would do if we had to get a cesarean once before but it was very brief and to the point because we were told not to have a birth plan. We agreed that if it came to the fact that it would save me or the baby, we would do it. The doctor came in around 1:30pm, checked my cervix, I was dilated to about 7 1/2cm and 90% effaced and then advised me that she was concerned with what they were seeing on the monitor. She said we had two options, one of which would be to take me off the pitocin and try to naturally contract him but that could be another 8-10 hours or her suggestion, to have the c-section. I asked her what the risks were and she explained that the risks were greater trying naturally because we don't know what was going on while his heart rate decelerated, so we agreed to the surgery.
Within 5 minutes of agreeing to a cesarean surgery, the anesthesiologist was back in the room, the nurses were prepping my husband with a white cover up, hat, booties and gave me the blue hat. I had to take a shot of a fluid antacid that tasted like a grape sour warhead. About 10 minutes later they were wheeling me to my surgery room. My husband freaking out, was asked where his phone was, he thought he couldn't bring it into the sterile room, the nurse told him to go get it as he was about to have a baby!!! I still had my composure but deep down I was scared for my babies life as well as mine but I knew I had the mercy of my doctor and God so it would all be okay!!
The doctor's had me cut open on the table when they brought my husband in. He said he saw 6 doctors, hovering over me and the nurse could tell he was about to pass out so she told him to look over to the right and follow the line on the floor to his chair next to me, behind the curtain. I was so happy to see him....this was the point where I was scared and needed him. I could feel the doctors pulling and tugging at my insides, the pressure of them moving my baby around inside of me. THE MOST AWKWARD FEELING IN THE WORLD! We were sitting for probably 2 minutes, then we hear the doctor say she saw the baby's head, and 30 seconds later we heard him...the gasping air of my baby boy and the first cry. My husband and I looked at each other in the eyes and started crying. Even though we didn't see him the second he came out, we knew he was beautiful, no matter what! He was then taken for his assessment tests.
The nurses took our baby over to the scale, 7lbs 1oz, then measured him, 20 inches long. They asked my husband to cut the cord but he has a weak stomach and refused. He will do it for future children since he now knows what to expect! Gavin was then checked for the APGAR test which checks the baby's heart rate, breathing, muscle tone, reflex response, and color. 10 being perfect (no baby is ever scored perfect), Gavin was mostly 9's and a couple 8's on the ratings. We had delivered a perfect baby boy at 2:07pm!
An hour after surgery, I was sent to recovery where I could hold my baby for the first time! I was in complete bliss, filled with the most love I've ever had for anyone in my life. Extremely exhausted, I reached out for Gavin and ready to do what mothers do best, nurture and protect! The lactation consultant was there in the recovery room with me to help me get him to latch on for breastfeeding. All I wanted to do was cuddle and take it all in but he needed me, he needed me to feed him. Finally after about an hour, he had latched on enough to eat for his cherry size belly and we were being moved to the newborn room where we would be the next two and a half days.
Nurse after nurse, shift after shift, they were all so great with helping us get settled in and feeling comfortable. Gavin slept majority of the time but wanted to eat every two hours. I would admire him for hours, when we didn't have visitors. He must have had over 20 people come to see him while we were there. He is one loved boy already and exactly a month after he's been born, he is still having people come to see him and bring him goodies!
I love him with every inch of my body and cannot wait to see him grow, but hopefully not too fast! I stare at his pretty deep blue eyes that he got from daddy, the tiny button nose and heart shaped lips he got from me. The LONG golden blonde hair and his long, luscious lashes always astonishes me. His perfect 10 fingers and 10 toes, and the fuzz hair on his shoulders and ears that one day, will turn to a young man's innocence. I know every inch of my son's anatomy and it continues to change so as a mother who struggled to get here, I will cherish and admire every single moment I have with him!Here he is, one month old....
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Baking a Baby with the Fowler's
July 20th, 2014...The day that changed my life! A positive pregnancy test!
After 3 long hard years of trying, we finally were starting a family! My husband and I went straight to our parents as soon as those test lines showed up. They were elated! My husband's parents would be first time grandparents and my parents, well not their first but their first with me, their only baby girl!!
The next day, I took another pregnancy test just to confirm that it was indeed positive, which it was. I then called the OBGYN to schedule our first appointment. I must have been about 3-4 weeks along but the doctor I requested wasn't available for two weeks. Those two weeks were the longest of my life!
The perinatal associates representative called me to schedule the ultrasound and when we went in, they advised it was too early because I was only at 7 weeks gestational (Nurse error when placing the order). They weren't able to check anything but we still got to see our baby for the first time. He was a small blob, but a beautiful blob! We rescheduled for the correct date and was then able to see the blob more as an outline of a baby and then we saw the heartbeat! Our hearts fluttered with joy! They drew my blood to check for these tests that I had no idea what the tests meant but it was to check for certain diseases: trisomies 21 (Down syndrome), 18 (
I was called around 10 weeks with the results and was told I had a low risk for all of the syndrome's but had low PAPPA-A results....WHAT THE HECK IS THAT? We then did what every parent should not do and turned to google.
Pregnancy-associated plasma protein A- Low levels may alternatively predict issues with the placenta, resulting in adverse complications such as intrauterine growth restriction, preeclampsia, placental abruption, premature birth, or fetal death. DEATH? So we were needless to say freaked out!
At our next appointment, the doctor told us we had nothing to worry about and that it was just a pre-caution but we would essentially get to see more ultrasounds than other pregnant women. Once every four weeks once I hit 20 weeks. Her tone and expertise set us at ease.
August came around, we were a little over 10 weeks. We know you should wait 12 weeks before announcing your pregnancy but if you know me, you'll know that I am very impatient and begged to tell the world. We headed to Chicago for our annual comic-con trip and stayed with my Uncle BJ. We had to make our announcement a big deal since we had struggled getting pregnant so I suggested a photo op! My husband is a HUGE Marvel comic fan and what better opportunity than to meet the creator of Marvel and Spider-Man?!? Stan Lee, 91 years old and we got our picture taken with a sign and onsie announcing that a Spider-Baby was joining us in March 2015! It was awesome meeting such a legend and the announcement was a hit! Our next announcement wasn't as exciting but we were able to announce we were having a boy at 20 weeks!!
I had to change my diet completely. Carbs were essentially non existent and I had to be a label reader for the rest of the pregnancy. I was only allowed 35-40g of Carbs for breakfast, lunch and dinner and 15g of carbs for a snack 3 times a day. I had to not only change my diet but my way of eating also. I had to check my sugar with a glucose meter 4 times a day; as soon as I woke up and an hour after each meal as well as keep a food diary of everything I ate.
It sucked but I had to do what I could to make sure my baby came out healthy! Their concern with gestational diabetes is that the body does not break down the insulin like it should and everything I ate would be going to the baby, resulting in a large baby at delivery, low blood sugar in the baby and/or risk of jaundice. I sucked it up and did the diet. Thankfully it kept me from every pregnant woman's mind set of 'Oh, I'm pregnant so I can eat whatever I want because I'm eating for two'. I only gained 24lbs with my pregnancy and 9lbs of that was added the last month.
We finally decided on a name, Gavin Wayne. My father-in-law's name is Wayne and my husband's middle name is Wayne so we decided to carry on the name and I've always loved the name Gavin, even before I got pregnant!! His nursery was coming together, his baby wardrobe was multiplying by the minute, our house was getting full of baby items and as it got closer, I got more excited and anxious to meet our baby boy! 
We were 2 weeks out from our due date and I went in to be checked once a week at that point. I was dilated to a 1-1 1/2 and 50% effaced.The doctor advised since I had gestational diabetes that we could induce at 39 weeks, me being impatient like I am, I agreed. We scheduled the induction for March 17th at 7pm. Possibly a St. Pattys day baby?? I had been working hard to try to get him to come early by using a medicine ball, walking, etc but he wanted to stay in. I wasn't miserable since I hadn't gained that much weight and barely had braxton hicks contractions except for the last week. During that week, we were on edge...felt like he dropped and I could have him any minute but he held out. My husband made me put a shower liner under my sheet in case my water broke (how embarrassing, sounding like I was sleeping in a toddler's bed). I worked up until the Thursday before I delivered and that weekend was just relaxing, getting final touches done to the house before Gavin's arrival. On Tuesday, March 17th at 6:45pm, we walked into Southview Maternity center and it all had just begun!My life was about to change, FOREVER! <3
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
How I beat Infertility!
7lbs 1 oz, 20 inches long born into this world at 2:07pm on March 18, 2015-Gavin Wayne. My world. My life. My Everything.
My name is Brittany and I am going to tell you my journey of becoming a mother. 27 years old, married for 5 years and my lifelong dream of being a
mother finally came true after many struggles and road blocks. My husband and I decided we were ready to proactively start a family towards the end of 2011 but my periods were never regular. Early 2013, I decided to visit the OBGYN to see if my lady parts were working properly to get started since nothing was happening. It was a few weeks after the initial appointment that made our world come crumbling down upon us. We were told it would be nearly impossible for me to have children....
The doctor ordered a hysterosalpingogram or HSG test which is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them. During a hysterosalpingogram, a dye is put through a thin tube that is put through the 'girl part' and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes, if all goes according to plan.
Unfortunately, the dye test was inconclusive for me, showing that I had some blockage on one fallopian tube and completely blocked on the other. We were then referred to a reproductive endocrinologist and given a low percentage rate that it would even be possible for us to conceive. This was just the beginning for us.
I was in cosmetology school at the time all of this is going on and during one of my breaks in between clients, I called the Institute for Reproductive Health in Cincinnati, Ohio and scheduled my first appointment. Scared, nervous, anxious, driving 45 minutes away from home, we went to our first appointment with Dr. Burwinkle. He was a friendly family man that was easy to talk to and understand. He had received my results from the HSG test and explained to us that the options we had were limited but it would be hard to know for sure until he opened me up to see what was really going on with the blockage! SURGERY? I had a laparoscopy back in 2010 and during that surgery, they found scar tissue build up which caused excruciating pain in my abdomen but I was never told anything else was wrong. At least I knew what to prepare for with this type of exploratory surgery.
The doctor wanted to review my results from post op reports from my past surgeries (laparoscopy-2010 and appendectomy-2012) to see the extent of the previous scar tissue and damage and told us about the intent to look at my tubes with another laparoscopy surgery. He said my fallopian tubes may be too damaged to fix and may have to remove one of them because when they are blocked like the test showed, they hold a toxin that can be released to my uterus which is dangerous. We were told IVF was going to be likely in our situation. OMG, that is like a minimum $8,000!! He also told me I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and could see follicles on my ovaries from an internal ultrasound.What the heck was that? We felt defeated but continued to pray and hope for the best.
Okay, so surgery. We were ready to find out if we could repair or unblock my tubes but first, my husband had to get checked to make sure his swimmers were swimming! I can only imagine how awkward that is for a guy to go into an office (mainly of women receptionists and nurses) to say they have to jerk off into a cup!! Haha. Everything came back normal, in fact, his swimmers were strong! Although we were referred to an endocrinologist, my husband still wanted a second opinion. We met with Dr. Peterson which was quick and to the point. Her advice was to go ahead with the surgery.
August 22, 2013- Surgery results were a little different than we had expected! Doctor explained to my husband that my tubes were completely open...he said I had endometriosis which 'ate away' a large portion of my internal walls and caused my right ovary to fall into a 'pocket' which is very, very rare. He put it back where it was supposed to be and removed what endometriosis and scar tissue he could find. He expressed that we should be good to start trying with some success after I fully recovered! The doctor still advised that he wanted me to take fertility meds because of the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I had to do more research on this condition! Turned out, I needed to be more concerned about PCOS than anything else because it was one of the leading causes of infertility and 1 in 10 women have this incurable condition.
September through January we tried Clomid, the fertility medicine that causes the pituitary gland to release hormones needed to stimulate ovulation....nothing happened. We then started adding Femara to help with estrogen levels and added a "trigger shot" or Ovidrel which was a $200 shot I had to inject into my thigh or lower abdomen. Let me tell you, giving yourself a shot is not fun and I feel for diabetics. The shot was injected to stimulate the release of an egg during ovulation. I would go back to the office once a month, still driving 45 minutes, to get internal ultrasounds to check if my ovaries were close to dropping an egg for ovulation and was advised on timed intercourse. Have you ever been told when to have sex? It is a stressful chore that minimizes the males performance due to being under pressure. Between having to be on a schedule and the hormones running through me, I was an emotional wreck and so drained from trying and trying. I am not a patient person when I want something and this was just not happening fast enough for me! I felt defeated. Of course, everyone who knows you're trying for a baby will tell you to relax, it will happen when it's meant to be, etc. NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR THAT WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING SO BAD!!
My husband and I decided in March of 2014 to stop everything....So there we were, letting go the stress from spending money on medicine, trying to have sex on a time frame, emotionally and physically exhausted and less hormonal, we just lived our lives. It also took a toll on our relationship so we needed to get back to square one and focus on being husband and wife.
July 20th, 2014 at 5:20pm I decided to take a pregnancy test because I was late (I had been pretty regular since my surgery). POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!+++++++++ I screamed "OH MY GOSH" my husband was in the other room and we had just got back from playing sand volleyball. He asked what was wrong and came into the bathroom. I showed him the test and he asked what it meant...I told him we were pregnant and it was the best day of my life, hard to believe and took awhile for it to sink in.
If you, or someone you know, are also dealing with any of these issues, please know that God works in mysterious ways and will make miracles happen when they are needed! God sure blessed me with a loving husband, a healthy baby and friends and family that have been so supportive during our troubled times. A big THANK YOU to everyone who helped support us and the outcome was well worth the struggle.
The doctor ordered a hysterosalpingogram or HSG test which is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them. During a hysterosalpingogram, a dye is put through a thin tube that is put through the 'girl part' and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes, if all goes according to plan.
Unfortunately, the dye test was inconclusive for me, showing that I had some blockage on one fallopian tube and completely blocked on the other. We were then referred to a reproductive endocrinologist and given a low percentage rate that it would even be possible for us to conceive. This was just the beginning for us.
I was in cosmetology school at the time all of this is going on and during one of my breaks in between clients, I called the Institute for Reproductive Health in Cincinnati, Ohio and scheduled my first appointment. Scared, nervous, anxious, driving 45 minutes away from home, we went to our first appointment with Dr. Burwinkle. He was a friendly family man that was easy to talk to and understand. He had received my results from the HSG test and explained to us that the options we had were limited but it would be hard to know for sure until he opened me up to see what was really going on with the blockage! SURGERY? I had a laparoscopy back in 2010 and during that surgery, they found scar tissue build up which caused excruciating pain in my abdomen but I was never told anything else was wrong. At least I knew what to prepare for with this type of exploratory surgery.
The doctor wanted to review my results from post op reports from my past surgeries (laparoscopy-2010 and appendectomy-2012) to see the extent of the previous scar tissue and damage and told us about the intent to look at my tubes with another laparoscopy surgery. He said my fallopian tubes may be too damaged to fix and may have to remove one of them because when they are blocked like the test showed, they hold a toxin that can be released to my uterus which is dangerous. We were told IVF was going to be likely in our situation. OMG, that is like a minimum $8,000!! He also told me I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and could see follicles on my ovaries from an internal ultrasound.What the heck was that? We felt defeated but continued to pray and hope for the best.
Okay, so surgery. We were ready to find out if we could repair or unblock my tubes but first, my husband had to get checked to make sure his swimmers were swimming! I can only imagine how awkward that is for a guy to go into an office (mainly of women receptionists and nurses) to say they have to jerk off into a cup!! Haha. Everything came back normal, in fact, his swimmers were strong! Although we were referred to an endocrinologist, my husband still wanted a second opinion. We met with Dr. Peterson which was quick and to the point. Her advice was to go ahead with the surgery.
August 22, 2013- Surgery results were a little different than we had expected! Doctor explained to my husband that my tubes were completely open...he said I had endometriosis which 'ate away' a large portion of my internal walls and caused my right ovary to fall into a 'pocket' which is very, very rare. He put it back where it was supposed to be and removed what endometriosis and scar tissue he could find. He expressed that we should be good to start trying with some success after I fully recovered! The doctor still advised that he wanted me to take fertility meds because of the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I had to do more research on this condition! Turned out, I needed to be more concerned about PCOS than anything else because it was one of the leading causes of infertility and 1 in 10 women have this incurable condition.
September through January we tried Clomid, the fertility medicine that causes the pituitary gland to release hormones needed to stimulate ovulation....nothing happened. We then started adding Femara to help with estrogen levels and added a "trigger shot" or Ovidrel which was a $200 shot I had to inject into my thigh or lower abdomen. Let me tell you, giving yourself a shot is not fun and I feel for diabetics. The shot was injected to stimulate the release of an egg during ovulation. I would go back to the office once a month, still driving 45 minutes, to get internal ultrasounds to check if my ovaries were close to dropping an egg for ovulation and was advised on timed intercourse. Have you ever been told when to have sex? It is a stressful chore that minimizes the males performance due to being under pressure. Between having to be on a schedule and the hormones running through me, I was an emotional wreck and so drained from trying and trying. I am not a patient person when I want something and this was just not happening fast enough for me! I felt defeated. Of course, everyone who knows you're trying for a baby will tell you to relax, it will happen when it's meant to be, etc. NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR THAT WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING SO BAD!!
My husband and I decided in March of 2014 to stop everything....So there we were, letting go the stress from spending money on medicine, trying to have sex on a time frame, emotionally and physically exhausted and less hormonal, we just lived our lives. It also took a toll on our relationship so we needed to get back to square one and focus on being husband and wife.
July 20th, 2014 at 5:20pm I decided to take a pregnancy test because I was late (I had been pretty regular since my surgery). POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!+++++++++ I screamed "OH MY GOSH" my husband was in the other room and we had just got back from playing sand volleyball. He asked what was wrong and came into the bathroom. I showed him the test and he asked what it meant...I told him we were pregnant and it was the best day of my life, hard to believe and took awhile for it to sink in.
If you, or someone you know, are also dealing with any of these issues, please know that God works in mysterious ways and will make miracles happen when they are needed! God sure blessed me with a loving husband, a healthy baby and friends and family that have been so supportive during our troubled times. A big THANK YOU to everyone who helped support us and the outcome was well worth the struggle.
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