Keeping the Faith

Things are great! God is good! The baby is growing, healthy, and he makes my world complete...

Gavin is a month old now, he still looks like his daddy and is starting to focus on people and things. He is everything I always wanted in a baby, pure perfection. We, as parents do everything in our power to protect and care for our babies whether it's a fur baby or a tiny human baby....We wake up and go to work knowing we have to so we can pay bills, keep the house over our head, have a car to get from point A to point B...I am a cosmetology educator and since I am only working part time, my paychecks don't do much to help with the bills but it's something. I've been off since March 13th and I'm a couple weeks away from going back to work but of course, I don't want to go....I want to spend every waking moment with my baby and watch him as he progresses in life. Who wants to spend their lives at work and miss out on their children's milestones? Although everyone needs a LITTLE separation from their kid(s), husband, house work, etc. or they will go nuts! It will be hard for me to go back though.

My husband and I are the couple who we thought did it right. We both went to college, got married, then tried for a baby, the way that we should have. We had our issues with getting pregnant but God saw us through. HE put in front of us what we could handle after so much struggle and turmoil, knowing it was OUR time to be parents. Being a parent comes with great responsibility. I have a couple friends with the same struggle and I know it will be in their cards soon, they just have to keep the faith!

My husband, and I'm sure most husbands at that, want to be great providers. They wake up and go to work knowing they have to provide for their families and sometimes it gives them a sense of pride to be able to support others, knowing it is up to them to make ends meet. I look at my husband and I know that after almost 6 years of marriage that he has been an amazing provider, trying to make sure I have everything I want. Now that Gavin is here, he only wants to work harder to be able to give him everything he wants, especially when they take their trips down the action figure isle as he gets older or trips to the comic store!

The moment our world came crashing down was the moment my husband lost his job a little over a week ago, for something that wasn't even his fault. So here we are, I'm still on maternity leave without pay, my husband jobless and three mouths to feed, bills to still be paid already on the edge of broke yet, life still goes on. What do you do at this point? The breaking point where a mom feels helpless, a dad feels like a failure.... We can get down on ourselves, beat ourselves up thinking we could never pick up the missing pieces but what is the point? Money cannot buy happiness but it does keep the roof over our head, the food in our mouth, the gas in our cars.

Filing for unemployment and searching for a job is a full time job in itself, as well as being a husband/wife and a father/mother making sure the relationship stays healthy, the house stays clean and everyone stays happy. I did what I though was best for our family, I went to job and family services. Asking for assistance through the government is probably the most embarrassing thing I have done but at the same time that's what it's there for, right? Needing food stamps and medical assistance isn't something I thought our family would ever have to endure but it is something we are fortunate to be able to request. Being a mother who breastfeeds, it's not just about me, I need more nutrition now more than I ever did before so keeping food in the house is important.

Our parents have helped in many ways also but it really hurts a man's ego that his mother is bringing meals and toiletries to help his family survive or his wives parents are giving cash so they don't get behind on bills. I know that my husband is and always will be a great provider, he is out interviewing for multiple jobs as I type this....He will not want to live off the government and watch me go back to a part time position while  he sits at home, he will hit the pavement daily, email resumes to everyone he knows and God will reward him.

I recently accepted Jesus as my lord and savior and opened myself up to know that there is a God and I know now that HE is on our side. HE will not give us more than we can handle and as long as we keep the faith it will continue to be that way. I pray every day that something great comes along for my husband, something better for our family and that we all stay above water! It's only been a little while that all this started but I know we will bounce back quickly!