The day our baby #2 was due, or should have been due.
Unfortunately, God had other plans.
Going through a miscarriage is rough. Whether it's 3 weeks along, 7 weeks along, 7 months or full term....anyone who loses a child just doesn't get over it quickly or even at all!
Our little peanut was 7 weeks when I had a D&C because I was miscarrying and it was creating problems with an ovarian cyst. Nobody knows why, nobody explained how but our Valentine's Day in 2017 was very sad. But then things took a turn....
I was back seeing my OBGYN to try to get my fertlilty back in check. I was supposed to start Provera(to kick start my cycle) in a couple of days. I couldn't take it until I was 10 days late because my cycle was NEVER regular and they don't want you take it in case you do become pregnant. Once I took that, 3 days into my cycle, I'd get started back on Clomid; an estrogen modulator to assist in aiding those who struggle with infertility to fall pregnant but it can also run the risk of becoming pregnant with multiples! 😱 Holy moly, I don't know what I'd do with 2 or 3 bebe's.
I knew I couldn't be pregnant because I just took a test on Feb 6th, and if I were a normal person with normal ovulation schedules, I would have already been knocked up.....
Well, I guess mother nature had other plans. When things started looking up on that day, was when I decided, for shits and giggles, to take a pregnancy test........
Positive!
What? Wait! This can't be true! I don't understand, I'd have to have ovulated SUPER LATE!!!!
Well, I did. I took another one, shortly after lunch....was working at the Salon I had been at since late Sept 2016 but had only worked Tuesdays and Saturdays.
That one was also positive! Holy shit! What are the chances of me finding this out on the day our previous child would have been born!?
I couldn't believe my eyes, I called my OB and scheduled for blood work immediately since we had the miscarriage. They got me scheduled for the following Tuesday!
Now, how do I tell my husband!? I wanted it to be a surprise since he knew I had been so upset and depressed about losing our last baby. I had worked at the salon until 3pm and then had to go into the school until 9:45....let's just say it was a LONG ASS DAY!!! I looked at pinterest for probably 4 hours just trying to come up with a clever way to tell him.....
I decided to stop at Wal-Mart after work, which I think we needed dog food anyway, and see what they had left over from V-day baby stuff! I bought a Valentine's Day baby bib, book, baby bottle candy, and a 'Happy Father's Day From all of us' card! I put it all in a bag with the pregnancy tests and tissue paper and when I got home, my husband was sitting on the couch.
I handed him the bag, and started to open my camera on my phone.....
Last time I told him I was pregnant was Father's Day and I recorded it. He saw me start to record his reaction and he knew....he said before he even opened the gift, "you're pregnant?"
I was sad to not be able to capture his reaction to the gift but excited to say "YES"! He started to smile and then asked the same question that he asked the last time I told him, "who else knows?"
For some reason, my husband thinks I tell everyone else things like this before him! LOL
Well, I did tell my bestie, Michelle. She and I have this code that no matter when we take a pregnancy test and think we see the slightest line, we send each other pictures of the tests in every angle, every filter imaginable until one of us says 'I can kinda see it'! I think my husband is jealous that she would know something so personal like that before him but he doesn't hold a grudge!
Anyway, I had a hard time really feeling pregnant. I didn't really know how to accept it or how to feel because I didn't want to be too excited and it turn out to be another miscarriage. That's probably one of the hardest things to cope with when you become pregnant after a miscarriage. It probably wasn't until our 2nd ultrasound at 12 weeks that I truly could accept that I was pregnant! We got an ultrasound around 6 weeks but I think I just had to make it past that 7 week mark to be sure it would stick.
I got a little winded but I'll write another about how we found out the gender and how the pregnancy has been going. I'm actually 32 weeks today so I'm a bit behind on my blogging!
So needless to say, Valentine's Day, 2017 was a very Bittersweet day, remembering our baby in heaven, on to celebrate our RAINBOW baby!
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